Most nights, I rock Julian to sleep. Usually he fights, arching his back, grabbing his pacifier and throwing it away, and screaming at the top of his little lungs until his face turns red. Sometimes I can get him to calm down if I hold him tight, put my face very close to his and give him kisses on the cheek.
This doesn’t always work, but some nights, it does. And on the nights that it does, after I have given him a few kisses, I can feel him using his little body to reach his face up closer to mine for a few more. That little stretch, his snuggles and reaching for kisses with his eyes closed…I know he’ll be too big soon. Sooner than I’d like. So I want to hang on to that feeling. There are so many little moments and habits that I know I’ll forget, but this one I’d like to remember.